Full Circle Blog:
Mental Health, Parenting

Six Ways to Support a Brand New Mom

She’s been through the birth process. She’s left the hospital. She’s made decisions about strollers, and researched the benefits and risks of co-sleeping. She’s finished decorating a nursery. Today, she’s on the couch with a brand new little stranger, one who’s demanding her attention, resources and love.

Now what?

No matter how carefully we plan, our first experience with motherhood is not all fairytales and incredible moments. It can’t be. It’s completely new, which makes it unfamiliar, and therefore, a challenge. 

How can we best support other Moms when they begin this journey?

1. Tell Her What’s Normal 

“There are so many challenges in those early months of motherhood that it’s impossible not to stumble as you learn what works – and what doesn’t – for you and your child,” writes author Suzanne Barston.

Let her know – often – that she’s not alone in stumbling. Trouble breastfeeding? Totally normal. Exhaustion? Totally normal. Elated highs and emotional lows? Yep, normal. Rather than telling her that motherhood is going to be full of love and joy, let her know that, similar to other incredible life journeys, this one is going to be a ride. It’s okay that it won’t be perfect.

2. Find Out What She Really Needs

This part may not feel glamorous, but it will help meet her actual needs. Find out what is bothering her most. Does she feel distracted by a dirty bathroom or kitchen? Does she need someone to grocery shop, or to cook dinner so she can take a nap?

It may event be deeper than that – she may be struggling with guilt over choosing not to breastfeed, and need your support, or a listening, nonjudgmental ear. Often times, feeling heard makes all the difference. Having trouble getting started? Here’s a great piece on how to truly listen.

3. Tell Her to Hold Tight

Contact with mommy activates a baby’s parasympathetic nervous system. It calms stress, and enhances digestion, healing and growth. Other voices will tell her that she is potentially spoiling her baby, but you can let her know that it’s just not humanly possible. Take it a step further, and jump in to help her around the house, so she can sit down and enjoy bonding with her new little one.

4. Let Her Know She Hasn’t Failed

Did you know that children actually benefit from imperfect parenting? Our mistakes let them know that life isn’t perfect, that people will sometimes let them down, and that life is a journey of giving, taking, and learning to forgive along the way. Encourage her regularly that the absolute best Mom she can be—is exactly who she is now. 

Have other tips to share? Let us know in the comments below, or reach out via emailFacebook or Twitter!