Before your little one enters the world, its important to give some thought as to how you’ll maintain your balance. You are never going to exclusively be a mother – you will remain a partner, a friend, an individual, and a daughter.
As you begin this challenging, yet rewarding, transition, here are a few practices we recommend for maintaining your personal health along the way:
1. Get Organized
While forty weeks may seem like forever, it actually goes by quite fast! Don’t wait until the last minute to prepare. Make sure you install your car seat, build your crib, put together your baby’s room, and stock up on what you and your new little one will need long before you hit that nine month mark. Additionally, beginning to interview babysitters and caregivers before you give birth can be helpful in creating a smooth transition into a manageable schedule for you and your new little one.
2. Adjust Your Expectations
Did you once think that perfection meant pristine cleanliness? Think again.
This does not mean that you need to lower your expectations to chaos, but that you can adjust to creating an environment that feels inviting, yet lived in. This may mean, at times, that there are little shoes scattered across the entryway, more pillows than you expected piled on top of the couch, and a drawing (or ten) on your kitchen fridge. Changing your perspective to create comfort, rather than perfection, may be just the thing to set you free!
3. Balance the Imbalance
As a new mother, you may often experience the feeling that things are never quite in balance. Unexpected, new interruptions are common, and you may want to reflect, before you begin this journey, on the small things that you want to continue to have in your life. Is it an evening bath, 10 minutes of reading before bed, or perhaps a date night once a month?
One good way to approach this balance is to take parenting classes or couples therapy before your baby arrives. These tools can provide a forum within which to talk about your expectations, the practices you grew up with and what you hope to experience within your relationship, and growing family.
4. Accept Help
Adjust your thinking sooner rather than later: asking for, and accepting, help never makes you weak. Allow your family and friends to take part in this journey with you. It’s rewarding for both of you, and allows them to feel part of a life they (all) already care deeply about. Don’t be afraid to let them in!
Some suggestions from our team: develop a meal chain (or ask for people to sign up at your baby shower!) where three to four times a week a friend is dropping off dinner with leftovers. At Full Circle, we ask parents to write down the names of friends and family they can call upon for help with laundry, errands and more in order to ensure that you have very concrete, specific help.
5. Keep Your Friends
Doing things alone with your friends is an important way to maintain your identity, not just as a mother, but as the woman you have always been. Take time to talk with your partner about your need to keep your social life. Discuss ideas around balancing the caretaking responsibility, so as to ensure you are able to spend time with the people who have always been by your side.
Have more tips to share? We would love to hear from you! Please reach out via email, Facebook or Twitter.