Full Circle Blog:
Parenting, The Teenage Years

5 Important Conversations to Have with Your Teenage Daughter

As a parent, it can be easy to focus on aspects of the teenage years that make us feel nervous, or anxious.

With that (sometimes) ominous 13th birthday, there can be new and difficult arguments, and discussions around health and sexuality.

That being said, if we can shift our perspective of the teen years to one of discovery and growth, it can become an opportunity to empower our daughters.

Here are 5 important conversations to have with yours:

1. Prepare Her to Take Responsibility

The teenage years are an important time for your daughter to begin taking responsibility for her health. To prevent her from feeling powerless over the changes to her body, we suggest guiding her through her personal medical history, as well as her family health history. The knowledge she gains through this exercise will prepare her to take care of her own health throughout her lifetime.

 2. Establish a Judgment-Free Space

Struggling to communicate? Actress and philanthropist Elizabeth Berkley suggests creating a no-judgment zone with your teen. In this Oprah.com article article on communication with your daughter, she shares a raw, honest perspective from several girls.

“Shame and blame seem to be the most surefire ways to kill any incentive for your daughters to talk openly with you,” she writes, “but if you can create a no-judgment zone where they feel safe enough to tell the truth, and where they know you’ll love and accept them no matter what they share, the girls all agree they are far more likely to open up.”

3. Provide Her with all the Information 

It’s more than likely that your daughter is nervous, embarrassed and or scared at the idea of seeing a gynecologist or having a pelvic exam, let alone thinking through issues such as the medical side of sex, birth control and her reproductive health.

How can you help her feel secure enough to be open, not just with you, but also with her caregivers?

As more and more girls move to taking birth control at a younger age, we suggest providing her with all of the information you possible can. From explaining what to expect at her first gynecology visit to having an open conversation about safe sex, it is better to err on the side of too much, rather than too little, information.

4. Watch Her Health

No one else loves your daughter like you do. This means that it is your responsibility to notice whether she is struggling mentally, or fighting an eating disorder. While this may seem terrifying at first, it is much, much better than remaining oblivious to what she is going through. Don’t shy away from asking her questions, noticing the signs and providing her with the love and, if necessary, medical support she needs.

Are you worried your daughter may be struggling with an eating disorder? Begin by reading up on some effective ways to start a conversation about her struggle. 

5. Bring in a Third Party

In our practice, we find that young girls may feel more at ease talking to someone outside of their family.

A midwife can act as a transitional figure, providing support for, and offering knowledge to, a girl when she is ready to hear it. Though we maintain complete confidentiality, we help girls think about how to maintain and even improve communication with their parents.

Do you have questions, or other methods of communication that have proved helpful with your daughter? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below, or via Facebook and Twitter.